When your kid wants to be a grape for Halloween, you don’t go for the obvious fruit salad. You go as a Waldorf salad.
(walnut, grape, apple, celery)
Once upon a time, there was a dad who failed at blogging. He was supposed to be writing stories for random people on the internet about the trials and tribulations of being an adult, parental human being. This dad lived across from a magical creek, near The Enchanted Internet Cafe, filled with grande drinks, water slides, sports balls, and free wifi connection. But whenever The Dad Who Failed At Blogging attempted to slip between the brush and reach The Enchanted Internet Cafe, something pulled him back to The World of Real Life; an evil wizard called Laziness. Whenever The Dad Who Failed At Blogging thought he had enough mental fortitude to sit down and write about the chaos in The World of Real Life, Laziness would cast a spell, forcing The Dad Who Failed At Blogging to watch TV, or drink a beer, or even sleep. This happened day after day, week after week, month after month; until one day, The Dad Who Failed At Blogging figured out a plan to trick Laziness. The Dad Who Failed At Blogging put on his finest pair of corduroy pants, he threw on a shirt made from shrink-resistant cotton, and he sat down on his porch. When the evil wizard appeared, The Dad Who Failed At Blogging jumped up out of his chair, reached into his pocket, pulled out a vile, and drank a mysterious 5-hour energy potion that gave him the strength of 27 dewdrops from the mountain. His vitality increased about as much as his heart rate; and, The Dad Who Failed At Blogging began running in circles around Laziness. The wizard looked left, then right, but on this day The Dad Who Failed At Blogging was too fast to capture. With a slow-motion jump straight into a pair of rocket-powered rollerblades, The Dad Who Failed At Blogging shot like a cannon through the thicket and into The Enchanted Internet Cafe. Unfortunately, The Dad Who Failed At Blogging was unprepared for the power of free wifi.
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When you have an extended weekend, you get back to your roots – homemade movies. Sure, there are plot holes, and sometimes the actors are difficult, but its always worth it in the end.
So I had an evening last night. You the kind I’m talking about. The kind where you leave work super excited to go home and eat a delicious dinner, play with the child you’ve missed all day and accomplish a few things on your to-do list….but reality is NOWHERE NEAR that pretty picture you’ve been envisioning all day.
It started with a text from T, “I’m going to be a little late tonight.” Alright, no big deal, I can handle a 1.5 year old on my own for a little while until T makes it home. This might delay dinner just a bit, but no biggie. Turns out, to my husband, a ‘little late’ means a complete hour. To those of you without a toddler running about while you’re trying to unwind from work and make dinner, an hour may seem like no big deal. In our house, with a kid that demands snack the minute he walks in the door and will tolerate nothing less than serving him his pre-dinner snack RIGHTTHISMINUTE, an hour is an eternity. On top of that, we’re currently eating paleo, so this mama is ravenous – aka hangry with little to no patience. Continue reading
We’re back for another exciting episode of “Adventures In Dadding,” only this time there will be real-life problems instead of stories about bowel movements.
Have you ever had a week where things started out pretty normal and then, while chasing a bird through the Appalachian Mountains you discovered a spaceship blaring a Casio keyboard version of Rage Against the Machine’s cover of “The Ghost of Tom Joad?” Me neither, but I can imagine that would be less troublesome than this week. I’ll fast-forward to the fun stuff. Continue reading