Category Archives: House

Murphy’s Law: Scientific Data Collected By A Dad

It’s been awhile since the trials and tribulations of being a dad have elevated to blog post level, but recently my lovely wife went on a work “vacation” to Denver and my Super Dad powers were put to the test again. As the title states, things didn’t go according to plan. Continue reading

Shit Show

Captain’s Log – Day 1,604

We were awoken this morning at 6:32 by a small boy running past our quarters, seemingly in a rush to get to the toilet. Upon getting out of bed to inspect the situation, we heard whining from the kennel in the front room. Surprised that we had actually gotten an uninterrupted night of sleep – one of only a handful of times on this four-year journey – we realized the dog needed to go outside. My co-captain let the puppy out to do his business, and returned him to the kennel. In the meantime, the now naked boy jumped onto my bed, and I helped him find his clothes and sent him to the basement bathroom with the co-captain to finish getting ready for the day. I knew we were all awake for the day now, so I let the dog out of the kennel.

I heard some chatter coming from the little lady’s sleeping quarters, so I went in to help her from her crib. I noticed quite the smell coming from her diaper, so I got her changed and dressed. While on the changing table, the puppy kept coming in the room and whining, but as I had a naked baby on top of the dresser, there was not much I could do at the time.

After finally getting the toddler to sit still long enough to get dressed, we ventured out to the main living quarters. My nostrils were still picking up the scent of waste, but I knew it couldn’t be her – I had just changed her. As I came into the front room, I saw it. Over to the right, near the play tent, there was the unmistakable dark spot on the floor that could be nothing other than a small pile of dog feces. Upon further inspection, and much to my disgust, there were a few spots of poop inside the tent as well. I frantically called for my co-captain’s assistance but he could not be found. He was still in the basement with the boy, taking their sweet time getting dressed.

I set the toddler down to play while I grabbed the dog by his collar to lead him outside. Unfortunately, this made the puppy think it was morning play time. He had no idea he was in trouble, and just bounded right back into the house before the door shut all the way. By now, the co-captain had made it upstairs to see what all the commotion was. As I was assessing the situation, I hear the boy cry behind me “No babes, that’s not for you!”

Assuming this was another day starting off with the two of them fighting over a dump truck (mind you, we have 2 of these dump trucks now – another story for another day), I ignored it for the moment while I tried to gather up floor cleaner, rags and bags. As I kneel down to start the cleaning, the co-captain quickly runs into the room, bee-lining straight for the toddler. To be honest, I’m impressed with the speed of him at this hour of the day. I turn to see what has happened, and a scene from my nightmares slowly unfolds before my eyes. The co-captain swiftly grabs the toddler and lifts her from where she was playing on the floor, heading straight to the bathtub. My eyes pan down to a giant pile of dog shit that I didn’t see before, which clearly has toddler fist-sized gaps missing. I see dark brown smears on her clothes. By some miracle, the co-captain was able to grab her before it got any worse.


Needless to say, the dog got to experience a bitter cold Minnesota morning on the porch, the toddler got a bath, the boy got some quality entertainment, the co-captain got a quick workout, and I got real familiar with carpet cleaner.

But don’t worry. The tent lives another day.

The Day The A/C Died

Summertime in Minnesota.  The living’s easy.  Unless your air conditioner breaks during a stretch of 85º, humid weather…with a toddler…and a newborn…and a wife.  Granted, we were operating on borrowed time with this classic 1972 model, built from actual Viking steel, but psychologically I wasn’t ready to bury the ol’ girl.

Air conditioner 1972

I will say that we handled the news fairly well, laughing about how enjoyable it is to buy appliances and discussing whose kidney we got to sell; but the real fun came when we learned no matter what, we were going to have to spend at least four days without cool air coursing through the veins of our house.  Here’s how that went down. Continue reading

Rainbow Nursery

rainbow nursery gender neutral

Here we are, within days of Baby Stein #2’s arrival and I’ve finally completed the nursery! We are beyond excited to welcome this little one into such a bright, colorful world. All furniture is from IKEA, and most everything else is handcrafted by me. Q did create his own 2 pieces of artwork for the baby and you can see it hung low by the bookshelf. The only thing left is to create an initial for the door once we know if we have a boy or girl joining our family.

I thoroughly enjoyed creating this space for our last baby, and it feels so good to be done with this space. We’re ready for you anytime little one! Continue reading

The Blue Spoon

There I was, standing in front of the mirror, getting ready for the day. Suddenly, the door flew open, nearly decapitating my big toe and narrowly missing the rest of my body. I was expecting to see Q, with a balloon in his hand and a smile on his face, ready to play before work and school. What I saw was pregnant woman with a look on her face that was a combination of “there’s hair in my mouth” and “someone just stole my burrito.”

“Are you ok?” I asked. Continue reading

Eat Your Greens

We seem to have had an extremely good year for kale, as evidenced by the 2+ garbage bags full of the green stuff. How are we going to eat all of this?  

Year-Round Garden Goodies


As summer comes to a close and we move into the best season of the year (hello pumpkins, falling leaves and Halloween), I wanted to do a quick recap of our garden output this year, and give you my recipe for the best pickles of all time. Seriously, you need to make them. Continue reading

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Are you ready for some football?

Q’s got the best seat in the house for watching opening weekend games.  

His Cross to Bear

so this happened today.