Once upon a time, there was a dad who failed at blogging. He was supposed to be writing stories for random people on the internet about the trials and tribulations of being an adult, parental human being. This dad lived across from a magical creek, near The Enchanted Internet Cafe, filled with grande drinks, water slides, sports balls, and free wifi connection. But whenever The Dad Who Failed At Blogging attempted to slip between the brush and reach The Enchanted Internet Cafe, something pulled him back to The World of Real Life; an evil wizard called Laziness. Whenever The Dad Who Failed At Blogging thought he had enough mental fortitude to sit down and write about the chaos in The World of Real Life, Laziness would cast a spell, forcing The Dad Who Failed At Blogging to watch TV, or drink a beer, or even sleep. This happened day after day, week after week, month after month; until one day, The Dad Who Failed At Blogging figured out a plan to trick Laziness. The Dad Who Failed At Blogging put on his finest pair of corduroy pants, he threw on a shirt made from shrink-resistant cotton, and he sat down on his porch. When the evil wizard appeared, The Dad Who Failed At Blogging jumped up out of his chair, reached into his pocket, pulled out a vile, and drank a mysterious 5-hour energy potion that gave him the strength of 27 dewdrops from the mountain. His vitality increased about as much as his heart rate; and, The Dad Who Failed At Blogging began running in circles around Laziness. The wizard looked left, then right, but on this day The Dad Who Failed At Blogging was too fast to capture. With a slow-motion jump straight into a pair of rocket-powered rollerblades, The Dad Who Failed At Blogging shot like a cannon through the thicket and into The Enchanted Internet Cafe. Unfortunately, The Dad Who Failed At Blogging was unprepared for the power of free wifi.
—————————————— Continue reading